Playing The House in Fata Morgana: Am I Weak-Willed?

I’m currently on Door 3 of the visual novel, The House in Fata Morgana. It’s a chilling game full of tragedies. Each door presents a different story, and I’m on the third story. The game’s writing is superb – it has some of the best stories I’ve read. I’ve read that the stories become even better later on in the story. I also appreciate the game’s music a lot.

The stories are gut-wrenching and dark. Door 1 and Door 2 were fine, but it was getting a bit painful to complete Door 3. I know that I will complete it eventually, but I had to stop for a break because I was already crying while playing the game and I just didn’t know if there would be a happy ending. I still don’t know – I haven’t gone back to the story yet. But I’m not confident that it will be a happy story. Then I thought, Am I weak-willed? Why is this difficult for me? Part of me wants a spoiler so that I can mentally prepare myself. I would feel relieved if I see something positive; if not, then at least it wouldn’t be a great shock.

Don’t get me wrong – I like books, games, and shows that can evoke great emotions out of you. Something that will make me cry, make my heart pound, or give me the chills. I’d say that House in Fata Morgana ticks off those boxes. If this sounds like your type of thing, I definitely recommend buying this game.

Still, I feel a little uneasy about returning to the game. But that’s a sign of good writing, I guess.

Obsession

I recently had a conversation about obsessions, and how I would even like to have an obsession. Hear me out.

I think life is more fun and enjoyable when you are obsessed with something. I find that you are most creative because you are driven by your sheer determination. You are passionate about something! (Or someone.) I was obsessed with The Phantom of the Opera when I was in high school. I didn’t like Christine, so I read every single Erik x Meg fanfic that existed. I even wrote my own fanfiction, which I never published. That was the only period of my life where I wrote fanfiction.

I have been trying to get into fanfiction writing for a while now lately, but I lack motivation. I don’t have something I’m obsessed with. (Is obsession the right word?)

I recently came across a Tweet that said that the fastest way to improve your art is by being obsessed with something, and I wholeheartedly agree with that. I haven’t drawn in a couple of years, and that’s something I used to do. Cosplay is another hobby that I haven’t done in a long time.

I used to be really into celebrities, but I’m too jaded for that now. I’ve been disappointed by too many scandals to count! 😂

Anyway, I think I just need some motivation. Writing this post is a step, so at least there’s that.

Authenticity? Part 2

This post is a continuation of an earlier post of mine from November 2020. I became inspired to write this post after finishing a route in a game and being too shy to write about it publicly.

That made me think a bit. What we post online, when attached to our real name and face, will be filtered most of the time, if not all the time. Would I have written about the game if I was using an anonymous account? This filter that I/we engage in is pretty interesting. I have friends who know me in real life, online friends, and there’s an overall feeling of discomfort around disclosing too much information. So yes, I’m completely aware of the filter that I put up on social media. And this isn’t just for potentially embarrassing or unhinged topics — the effort and time people put into editing their photos and making them look nice also counts. Sure, they might be posting for themselves, but part of it might be that they want their content to look presentable for others to see. But if it is posted just for yourself, would all of that still matter?

You’ve probably heard of the old phrase “Think before you speak” and I totally agree with this statement. But what would people look like if they didn’t have a filter at all? Judged and/or outcasted would be my guess.

I might try an experiment to see whether my content would differ if I used an anonymous account, specifically around photography. But I might be too lazy to go through with it. I guess only time will tell.

To my blogger friends

To my blogger friends,

Thank you for the recommendations. I must thank Irina for introducing me to Ajin, one of my favourite anime. I think the context was that I tweeted that I needed an anime recommendation and listed some of my favourite anime. Then Irina commented Ajin, and she was spot on with the recommendation.

Thank you Nora for tweeting about the Japanese BL drama, Old Fashion Cupcake. I watched it the same night, and it was a 10/10.

Thank you Shoujo for writing about The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System. Thanks to your post, I was able to enjoy the donghua and then I read the books. Now I am obsessed with SVSSS.

Thank you Crimson for tweeting about buying Hashihime of the Old Book Town on Steam. I am enjoying the game so much! Even the most random thing can be significant.

Thank you Jon Spencer for recommending Japanese Tales of Mystery and Imagination by Edogawa Rampo. I don’t remember the context too well, but I believe it was over Twitter. Rampo is my favourite author of all time, and I recently read The Edogawa Rampo Reader!

There are countless instances like these. We learn about anime, dramas, books, and games one way or another, right? Thanks to all of you, my life is a lot more colourful.

2021 Year-End Review

I started writing year-end review posts last year. Click here to read my post from 2020.

1. I got into crafts, and I credit the pandemic as the main reason. I’ve been into art since I was a kid, but I didn’t do much of it. Since I stayed home all of last year and the beginning of 2021, I had to do something with all my free time. I attended a virtual workshop for clay, and I became interested in learning how to make a bunch of different crafts. I mostly learned how to do everything by myself, and I’ve made a lot more than what you see here. I still do all of these things.

2. I got a boyfriend. In early 2020, I started writing letters to a guy I knew but was not close with. Becoming penpals was random and spontaneous, but it brought joy to my mundane life. Again, I stayed at home for all of 2020. The guy lives in the same province, so he sometimes brought me bubble tea to my door, socially distanced-style. For this reason, he was the person I saw the most in 2020. And I guess one thing led to another.

Moya knows him as the four-leaf clover guy because my boyfriend surprised me with four-leaf clovers before we started dating. He knew that I like four-leaf clovers, and it was his first time finding them.

3. Blogging and cosplaying were hit negatively. I’m not sure if these were because I have other interests now or because of other reasons. I haven’t been to a convention in a long time, but at least I’m still posting every once in a while. Oh, and you will find me most active on my Instagram or Twitter.

I’ve been thinking about the future directions of my blog and social media accounts. Stay tuned for a post about that in the near future.

4. I am still enjoying the little things in life. This was one of the points I made in last year’s post. The people around me have told me that they’ve noticed this about me, and I’m grateful for what I have and who I am today.

Please let me know how 2021 has been for you. Send me a link if you make a post like this!

[Response] Creativity in Blogging

I liked Annie’s Spill the tea: Creativity in Blogging post. Here’s my response to Annie.

From my personal experience, it is hard to be creative if you don’t have much energy. If you’re tired all the time, you’re not going to be thinking about creative ideas. So, I think that having energy is #1, almost like a requirement to being creative. When I have a lot of energy, I will cosplay, blog, draw, and do a bunch of random crafts.

I mostly get inspiration after having fun with my friends. I think this ties in with what I wrote above about having energy. It naturally comes to you when you feel happy and motivated.

I agree that other bloggers and creators are sources of inspiration. If it wasn’t for Annie’s post, this post wouldn’t even exist.

Thinking about my posts, I got a lot of inspiration from anime, songs, and a lot of other things. I’m driven by my passion and love for my interests and hobbies. One of my main reasons for blogging is to have a space to talk about my interests, often because I don’t have anywhere else to dump my thoughts.

Hmm, I don’t think that you can force out creativity. I don’t think it would feel very authentic. Breaks are fine, and sometimes we need them. That way, we can blog with a fresh mind and new ideas. I feel that prolonged breaks are scary, though. What if you become too comfortable and never return to blogging? Or, what if you lose your enthusiasm towards blogging? This is similar to what Annie voiced re: those who never come back. Here’s what I think: Your health comes before blogging.

On Social Media & Content Creation

I’ve been thinking about social media for a while; here are my thoughts.

Social media is what you make of it.

Social media is a tool for you to use. Some people use it to boost their social standing, while others use it as a space to post their artworks or cosplays. Some people are collectors, and others enjoy eating food and/or making food. Some people use it to stay in touch with their friends; others use it to keep records. There’s no right or wrong way to use social media.

On Validation: Social Media versus Blogging

I’ve heard a lot of people say that you don’t need validation from posting, or from followers and engagement. Okay, then why do I see so many people asking for more followers and views on their blog posts? Many bloggers have written about their blogging goals for 2021 and most of them include achieving a certain number of followers and views. Is there a difference between needing validation from social media versus blogging?

I don’t think so. Many Instagrammers pour a lot of time and effort into their posts, just like bloggers. Both Instagrammers and bloggers create content. Is it “seeking validation/attention” or is it “having goals”?

On Taking Breaks versus Productivity

I’ve seen many content creators (cosplayers, bloggers, writers, artists, podcasters, YouTubers, and VTubers) apologize for not putting out content on time or for taking a break. It seems like taking breaks is a bad thing. Does anyone else find this weird?

I know that for certain platforms, the algorithm works in the favour of those who constantly post. I also sympathize with those who want to stay “relevant” and avoid losing followers.

How I Use Social Media

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In my The Kore Wa Watashi Blog Award post, I self-proclaimed as a kuudere and used Houtarou Oreki’s photo to describe myself. While watching Hyouka, I resonated with what Houtarou said (shown above). It made me think, Why do I post on Instagram? I’m not enjoying it as much as I used to, and I don’t need validation from likes.

People use social media differently. Like I said, I view social media as a tool. You can find me most active on my Twitter, and I seldom use Instagram now. I still get some enjoyment out of Instagram – at the moment, anyway. If there comes a day when there is nothing to gain from social media, I will cease to use it.

Final Thoughts

Some people live their lives on social media, and I won’t be the judge of that. I hate it when people tell others to go outside/do whatever they do, as if they are superior. I will say this: social media shouldn’t be an exhausting thing. If you find that you are drained from it, consider taking a break. Perhaps you are putting unnecessary stress on yourself by placing too much importance on it.

2020 Year-End Review

2020 has been an unexpected, life-changing year for most of us, if not all of us.

1. Time seems to have slowed down for me. Pre-Covid, I was busy. I had school, practicum, three part-time jobs, and was an exec for my university’s anime club. On top of that, I watched anime, updated my blog, and cosplayed.

I recently wrote about my day-to-day life (Click here for the post). I am now at home all the time and my work is flexible. I have completed practicum, graduated, and am no longer an exec for anime club. I feel like I’m on an island, removed from the busy city.

2. I am enjoying the little things in life. Pre-Covid, I always felt like I didn’t have enough gratitude. I didn’t know how to change. Looking back, I was so busy that I didn’t have the time to process things in the moment.

Now, I’m always finding small things to appreciate. Trying out a new recipe, for example, or receiving a package. Pre-Covid, I bought things I liked and tossed them aside.

A positive post

Good things that have happened to me since quarantine Part 2

3. My social media habits have changed. Pre-Covid and several months during Covid, I posted on social media for other people to see. I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing because I still had fun.

I’ve changed, I think. I still think that posting on social media is fun, but my intentions are different. Lately, I’ve been looking at my old photos with friends. Photos of daily life serve as reminders of what happiness means to me. To me, photos are precious.

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There’s still a lot that I can improve on, but that’s life. I’ve felt all sorts of emotions this year but I think I’ve been holding up well given the circumstances. I think that out of everything, my attitude and mindset have changed the most.

To my blogger friends and readers, I encourage all of you to reflect on what this year means for you. If you write a year-end review post, please let me know. I would love to read it. 🙂

Going Back to My Roots

Not going to lie, I’ve wondered why I blog and do my other hobbies. I could just enjoy content without creating my own.

What value do I add to this world? I’m contributing to something, right..?

Do people like me? My content?

Does my content suck? LOL

These are the thoughts I’ve had. I can’t help it; I’ve been negative my entire life.

I got a letter from my penpal and a portion of the letter stuck out to me. The gist of it was: pushing people towards things they would have otherwise overlooked, and that people have watched shows because of me. This is true. I’ve had many people tell me that they’ve watched shows because of my reviews. Examples: Bii Your Light + Appreciation Shout-Outs & Yesterday wo Utatte Episode 1 Impressions. There are many more instances…

Isn’t this a huge reason why I blog in the first place? To share the things I love so that more people can learn about them. In my Why I Like Anime So Much post, I shared that growing up, my classmates and I enjoyed different shows. I was alone in the sense that nobody knew what I was talking about.

Things are different now. Possibly the biggest reason why I blog is because of the blogging community and my blogger friends. Friends that, may not necessarily watch the stuff I like but are willing to read about my interests and be nonjudgmental.

Re-examining my motivations for blogging and other interests made me realize that blogging is a meaningful hobby for me. 🙂

#Controversed Week 4

In this post, I’ll be writing about how I manage criticism on the blog and my thoughts on this topic. If you haven’t heard about the Controversed project by Moya, click HERE to read about the project and HERE for more information about Week 4.

I have received criticism regarding my blog, drawings, and cosplays before, but it’s happens once in a blue moon. I get a lot more compliments than criticisms. When I do get criticism, here are some things I think about:

• Did I ask for feedback?
• What is the commenter’s intention? Do they want to help me or are they saying it out of spite?
• Do I agree with what they are saying? Even when I don’t, I still try to see things from their perspective. People’s feedback don’t always align with my goals. On the other hand, when giving feedback, you must consider the individuality of the content creator. Not everyone is going to want to do exactly what you do.
• Is the issue something that’s out of my hands? If there’s nothing I can do about it, then I will just leave it.
• How are they phrasing their words? Are they being clear and specific, or are they so vague that they’re unhelpful? If someone is rude, I will likely ignore them, which goes back to the second point on the commenter’s intention.

I will listen and try to understand why those comments were made, but I will not follow everything. Not going to lie, feedback when I did not ask for it can feel like mansplaining. I think this can be mitigated by the last bullet point on how you phrase your criticism. I’ve found some feedback incredibly helpful, but those were mostly when I asked for feedback.

When it comes to work or academics, I am a lot less critical of feedback. In fact, I often ask for constructive feedback. At work, there is a quality of standard deemed “acceptable” or not. When it comes to my personal blog that I just update for fun, I feel that it’s a lot more subjective.

I rarely criticise others because I feel that I would need to be really knowledgeable or really good at something to do that. When people ask for my feedback, I will let them know my thoughts. However, whether they decide to do something with it is up to them. I will not be upset if someone does not listen to my suggestions.