Obsession

I recently had a conversation about obsessions, and how I would even like to have an obsession. Hear me out.

I think life is more fun and enjoyable when you are obsessed with something. I find that you are most creative because you are driven by your sheer determination. You are passionate about something! (Or someone.) I was obsessed with The Phantom of the Opera when I was in high school. I didn’t like Christine, so I read every single Erik x Meg fanfic that existed. I even wrote my own fanfiction, which I never published. That was the only period of my life where I wrote fanfiction.

I have been trying to get into fanfiction writing for a while now lately, but I lack motivation. I don’t have something I’m obsessed with. (Is obsession the right word?)

I recently came across a Tweet that said that the fastest way to improve your art is by being obsessed with something, and I wholeheartedly agree with that. I haven’t drawn in a couple of years, and that’s something I used to do. Cosplay is another hobby that I haven’t done in a long time.

I used to be really into celebrities, but I’m too jaded for that now. I’ve been disappointed by too many scandals to count! ๐Ÿ˜‚

Anyway, I think I just need some motivation. Writing this post is a step, so at least there’s that.

Authenticity? Part 2

This post is a continuation of an earlier post of mine from November 2020. I became inspired to write this post after finishing a route in a game and being too shy to write about it publicly.

That made me think a bit. What we post online, when attached to our real name and face, will be filtered most of the time, if not all the time. Would I have written about the game if I was using an anonymous account? This filter that I/we engage in is pretty interesting. I have friends who know me in real life, online friends, and there’s an overall feeling of discomfort around disclosing too much information. So yes, I’m completely aware of the filter that I put up on social media. And this isn’t just for potentially embarrassing or unhinged topics — the effort and time people put into editing their photos and making them look nice also counts. Sure, they might be posting for themselves, but part of it might be that they want their content to look presentable for others to see. But if it is posted just for yourself, would all of that still matter?

You’ve probably heard of the old phrase “Think before you speak” and I totally agree with this statement. But what would people look like if they didn’t have a filter at all? Judged and/or outcasted would be my guess.

I might try an experiment to see whether my content would differ if I used an anonymous account, specifically around photography. But I might be too lazy to go through with it. I guess only time will tell.

On Social Media & Content Creation

I’ve been thinking about social media for a while; here are my thoughts.

Social media is what you make of it.

Social media is a tool for you to use. Some people use it to boost their social standing, while others use it as a space to post their artworks or cosplays. Some people are collectors, and others enjoy eating food and/or making food. Some people use it to stay in touch with their friends; others use it to keep records. There’s no right or wrong way to use social media.

On Validation: Social Media versus Blogging

I’ve heard a lot of people say that you don’t need validation from posting, or from followers and engagement. Okay, then why do I see so many people asking for more followers and views on their blog posts? Many bloggers have written about their blogging goals for 2021 and most of them include achieving a certain number of followers and views. Is there a difference between needing validation from social media versus blogging?

I don’t think so. Many Instagrammers pour a lot of time and effort into their posts, just like bloggers. Both Instagrammers and bloggers create content. Is it “seeking validation/attention” or is it “having goals”?

On Taking Breaks versus Productivity

I’ve seen many content creators (cosplayers, bloggers, writers, artists, podcasters, YouTubers, and VTubers) apologize for not putting out content on time or for taking a break. It seems like taking breaks is a bad thing. Does anyone else find this weird?

I know that for certain platforms, the algorithm works in the favour of those who constantly post. I also sympathize with those who want to stay “relevant” and avoid losing followers.

How I Use Social Media

In my The Kore Wa Watashi Blogย Award post, I self-proclaimed as a kuudere and used Houtarou Oreki’s photo to describe myself. While watching Hyouka, I resonated with what Houtarou said (shown above). It made me think, Why do I post on Instagram? I’m not enjoying it as much as I used to, and I don’t need validation from likes.

People use social media differently. Like I said, I view social media as a tool. You can find me most active on my Twitter, and I seldom use Instagram now. I still get some enjoyment out of Instagram – at the moment, anyway. If there comes a day when there is nothing to gain from social media, I will cease to use it.

Final Thoughts

Some people live their lives on social media, and I won’t be the judge of that. I hate it when people tell others to go outside/do whatever they do, as if they are superior. I will say this: social media shouldn’t be an exhausting thing. If you find that you are drained from it, consider taking a break. Perhaps you are putting unnecessary stress on yourself by placing too much importance on it.

2020 Year-End Review

2020 has been an unexpected, life-changing year for most of us, if not all of us.

1. Time seems to have slowed down for me. Pre-Covid, I was busy. I had school, practicum, three part-time jobs, and was an exec for my university’s anime club. On top of that, I watched anime, updated my blog, and cosplayed.

I recently wrote about my day-to-day life (Click here for the post). I am now at home all the time and my work is flexible. I have completed practicum, graduated, and am no longer an exec for anime club. I feel like I’m on an island, removed from the busy city.

2. I am enjoying the little things in life. Pre-Covid, I always felt like I didn’t have enough gratitude. I didn’t know how to change. Looking back, I was so busy that I didn’t have the time to process things in the moment.

Now, I’m always finding small things to appreciate. Trying out a new recipe, for example, or receiving a package. Pre-Covid, I bought things I liked and tossed them aside.

A positive post

Good things that have happened to me since quarantine Partย 2

3. My social media habits have changed. Pre-Covid and several months during Covid, I posted on social media for other people to see. I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing because I still had fun.

I’ve changed, I think. I still think that posting on social media is fun, but my intentions are different. Lately, I’ve been looking at my old photos with friends. Photos of daily life serve as reminders of what happiness means to me. To me, photos are precious.

There’s still a lot that I can improve on, but that’s life. I’ve felt all sorts of emotions this year but I think I’ve been holding up well given the circumstances. I think that out of everything, my attitude and mindset have changed the most.

To my blogger friends and readers, I encourage all of you to reflect on what this year means for you. If you write a year-end review post, please let me know. I would love to read it. ๐Ÿ™‚

Going Back to My Roots

Not going to lie, I’ve wondered why I blog and do my other hobbies. I could just enjoy content without creating my own.

What value do I add to this world? I’m contributing to something, right..?

Do people like me? My content?

Does my content suck? LOL

These are the thoughts I’ve had. I can’t help it; I’ve been negative my entire life.

Pin on Anime Girls

I got a letter from my penpal and a portion of the letter stuck out to me. The gist of it was: pushing people towards things they would have otherwise overlooked, and that people have watched shows because of me. This is true. I’ve had many people tell me that they’ve watched shows because of my reviews. Examples: Bii Your Light + Appreciation Shout-Outs & Yesterday wo Utatte Episode 1 Impressions. There are many more instances…

Isn’t this a huge reason why I blog in the first place? To share the things I love so that more people can learn about them. In my Why I Like Anime So Much post, I shared that growing up, my classmates and I enjoyed different shows. I was alone in the sense that nobody knew what I was talking about.

Things are different now. Possibly the biggest reason why I blog is because of the blogging community and my blogger friends. Friends that, may not necessarily watch the stuff I like but are willing to read about my interests and be nonjudgmental.

Re-examining my motivations for blogging and other interests made me realize that blogging is a meaningful hobby for me. ๐Ÿ™‚

#Controversed Week 4

In this post, I’ll be writing about how I manage criticism on the blog and my thoughts on this topic. If you haven’t heard about the Controversed project by Moya, click HERE to read about the project and HERE for more information about Week 4.

Animated gif about gif in Anime by s a k u r a c o t t o n

I have received criticism regarding my blog, drawings, and cosplays before, but it’s happens once in a blue moon. I get a lot more compliments than criticisms. When I do get criticism, here are some things I think about:

  • Did I ask for feedback?
  • What is the commenter’s intention? Do they want to help me or are they saying it out of spite?
  • Do I agree with what they are saying? Even when I don’t, I still try to see things from their perspective. People’s feedback don’t always align with my goals. On the other hand, when giving feedback, you must consider the individuality of the content creator. Not everyone is going to want to do exactly what you do.
  • Is the issue something that’s out of my hands? If there’s nothing I can do about it, then I will just leave it.
  • How are they phrasing their words? Are they being clear and specific, or are they so vague that they’re unhelpful? If someone is rude, I will likely ignore them, which goes back to the second point on the commenter’s intention.

I will listen and try to understand why those comments were made, but I will not follow everything. Not going to lie, feedback when I did not ask for it can feel like mansplaining. I think this can be mitigated by the last bullet point on how you phrase your criticism. I’ve found some feedback incredibly helpful, but those were mostly when I asked for feedback.

When it comes to work or academics, I am a lot less critical of feedback. In fact, I often ask for constructive feedback. At work, there is a quality of standard deemed “acceptable” or not. When it comes to my personal blog that I just update for fun, I feel that it’s a lot more subjective.

I rarely criticise others because I feel that I would need to be really knowledgeable or really good at something to do that. When people ask for my feedback, I will let them know my thoughts. However, whether they decide to do something with it is up to them. I will not be upset if someone does not listen to my suggestions.

Another Question

You can read my other Question post HERE.

A question for bloggers: Do you ever feel like some of your posts fade into irrelevancy as you keep putting out new posts? That they get buried deep in the archives? I guess this question applies for bloggers that frequently post.

I have over 550 posts. Maybe you can think of a few of my posts on the top of your head, but I’m guessing they’re the more recent ones. I won’t blog any less because of this, though.

Do you agree? Let me know your thoughts.

Authenticity?

What does authenticity mean to you?

I can’t help but think that I only present a certain side of me on this blog and my social media. My secret blog is quite different from this one.

I value authenticity. I strive to be an authentic person and I’ve been told that I am one. I haven’t been feeling like one lately.

I don’t think I’m fake, though. I just don’t show everything – There’s no good reason to, either. Isn’t everyone the same?

Thoughts?

.

.

#Killstagram Chapter 34

Day 9: 15 Days of Death Note Challenge

This challenge is from Ryuugiโ€™s Tatsuyaโ€™s Anime Corner.

Day 9: Favourite L Quote

.

.

I am a bit late but it’s still Day 9 for me since I haven’t slept yet…

There are many types of monsters that scare me: Monsters who cause trouble without showing themselves, monsters who abduct children, monsters who devour dreams, monsters who suck blood… and then, monsters who tell nothing but lies. Lying monsters are a real nuisance: They are much more cunning than others. They pose as humans even though they have no understanding of the human heart; they eat even though they’ve never experienced hunger; they study even though they have no interest in academics; they seek friendship even though they do not know how to love. If I were to encounter such monsters, I would likely be eaten by them… because in truth, I am that monster.โ€ – L Lawliet

I thought about this quote a lot some years ago. Which one is more terrifying – an evil person who shows their true colours or an evil person who hides behind a mask? I think it’s the latter.

What kind of “monster” devours dreams? Is it society as a whole? Could it be a close-minded parent?

RE: “they study even though they have no interest.” I think this is quite common.

There’s a lot to unpack here. But the thing that strikes me the most is the last part:

“because in truth, I am that monster.”

.

.

Judging by this quote, I don’t think that being a monster is a bad thing. Isn’t it just being a human?

From what L is saying, I am a monster. I don’t see anything wrong with this… but maybe I am proving his point.

On Idolizing Stars

X celebrity was seen leaving a hotel. He reportedly stayed at the hotel for eight hours with a 17-year-old minor. He is in his thirties. That’s all the news there is about that right now.

I loved X when I was in high school. My friend even decorated frames with his photos for my 18th birthday. I haven’t followed his news in the past five years due to moving onto other interests, but it was still a shock to read the news.

Animated gif about cute in ๐ŸŒฌ Life is Moveable by Pastel_Cathedral

It made me think, is it okay to look up to idols? To love them and support them? We don’t even know them personally. I think it’s perfectly fine to love their character from their series but what about them as an individual?

Then I thought, the same happens to people we do know. People in our day-to-day life. Some people, including the ones closest to us, can betray us and surprise us with their wickedness. Is there a difference between this and when a celebrity does it?

Perhaps we should trust and love others until they prove to us that they do not deserve it. I wonder if this is too simple. Too positive..?