I am a bit late but it’s still Day 9 for me since I haven’t slept yet…
There are many types of monsters that scare me: Monsters who cause trouble without showing themselves, monsters who abduct children, monsters who devour dreams, monsters who suck blood… and then, monsters who tell nothing but lies. Lying monsters are a real nuisance: They are much more cunning than others. They pose as humans even though they have no understanding of the human heart; they eat even though they’ve never experienced hunger; they study even though they have no interest in academics; they seek friendship even though they do not know how to love. If I were to encounter such monsters, I would likely be eaten by them… because in truth, I am that monster.” – L Lawliet
I thought about this quote a lot some years ago. Which one is more terrifying – an evil person who shows their true colours or an evil person who hides behind a mask? I think it’s the latter.
What kind of “monster” devours dreams? Is it society as a whole? Could it be a close-minded parent?
RE: “they study even though they have no interest.” I think this is quite common.
There’s a lot to unpack here. But the thing that strikes me the most is the last part:
“because in truth, I am that monster.”
Judging by this quote, I don’t think that being a monster is a bad thing. Isn’t it just being a human?
From what L is saying, I am a monster. I don’t see anything wrong with this… but maybe I am proving his point.
This is a continuation of my << Tonegawa’s Speech [Kaiji] >> post. In that post, I talked about how I realized that I am living my actual, real life at this very moment, at all times. For more context, read the post…
However, when I finished writing that post, I was still confused because I didn’t have enough information. What does living a fulfilling life look like? Did Tonegawa follow what he preached?
Then I watched Fune wo Amu. It’s a highly underrated anime and I don’t have anything negative to say about it. Go check it out.
Fune wo Amu follows the life of Mitsuya Majime. Majime dedicates his life towards creating The Great Passage, a dictionary that will always remain incomplete. Why incomplete? Because words are alive and are constantly changing, so the dictionary will need to be continuously revised and edited. It is Majime’s life’s work. The Great Passage will help people better understand one another and make society a better place.
This line is from the last episode. I feel a lot of respect towards people who have something to live for, people who dedicate their entire lives towards something they are passionate about. When people pour their hearts into a piece of work, it’s very admirable and honourable. Perhaps this is an answer to what I’ve been thinking about.
I was mindlessly scrolling through Instagram (this is nothing new) and I came across this meme.
I immediately thought about Tonegawa from Kaiji. So I rewatched his speeches and I really like this one.
Normally, those people would never wake up from their fantasy worlds. They live meaningless lives. They waste their precious days over nothing. No matter how old they get, they’ll continue to say, “My real life hasn’t started yet. The real me is still asleep, so that’s why my life is such garbage.” They continue to tell themselves that. And they age. Then die. And on their deathbeds, they will finally realize: the life they lived was the real thing. People don’t live provisional lives, nor do they die provisional deaths. That’s a simple fact! The problem… is whether they realize that simple fact.” – Yukio Tonegawa
Frankly, I felt called out. I often tell myself that I don’t belong here and that I wish I could teleport to another world. That I feel like an alien sometimes. I frequently think, “If only I could do this… If only I had this…”
Tonegawa’s speech makes a lot of sense to me. Whatever fantasy world I’m dreaming of, I need to wake up from it. I need to recognize that I am living my real life right now. It is a simple fact…
Let’s say you recognize that you’ve been wasting your life away. Then what?? Thinking is easy, but taking action is not.
Buraiden Gai is a short manga by Nobuyuki Fukumoto. Fukomoto is well-known for creating Kaiji and Akagi. It’s a really interesting and intense manga. I recommend checking it out! One page in particular stuck out to me and it was about desire (Remember to read right to left).
This page reminded me of the following quote by Edgar Allan Poe:
“All suffering originates from craving, from attachment, from desire.” — Edgar Allan Poe
What do you guys think?? Do you agree with this notion or the quote? It makes sense to me, but I would love to hear what other people think. This makes me feel negative because of the bottom panel that says, “There’s only a few people who do achieve their dreams … the world has more people who failed.” Is this even true? At the same time, I feel relief from having a greater understanding about suffering.
I’ll leave you with this final quote from Buraiden Gai (Chapter 31)…
“Isn’t dream the same thing as desire?” — Nobuyuki Fukumoto
I’m starting to read Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare and the famous line, “Et tu, Brute?” has me shaken.
The theme of betrayal happens all the time in literature and in anime too. Take the song Vogel im Käfig from Attack on Titan, for example. When I listen to the song, I feel anger, betrayal, sadness, disbelief and acceptance. The song plays during my favourite scene in the anime, the betrayal.
Quotes pop up on the loading screen of a game I’m playing. This quote in particular was very interesting. It was cool seeing a quote from a novel I own.
“If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself.” – George Orwell, 1984
Don’t worry, my life is mundane. Every time I write about a serious topic like this, there are always a couple of people who ask me if I’m okay, or if there’s anything wrong. I do appreciate the concern, but you have to understand that I think a lot. I’m not blindly consuming content and not thinking about it afterwards! No, I think about the things I read and watch.
dragon fruit and soy milk
P.S. I’m learning how to skateboard. Balancing is not an issue but I need to practice turning.