I had doubts over writing this post, but all the support I received on Twitter made me complete it in the end.
In elementary school, I had zero interest in gossiping about other female classmates or gushing about boys. I hated Western pop music and reality TV shows. Most of all, I made zero effort to change myself or pretend to be like them. I do think that my indifferent facial expressions hindered me from making friends. No surprise, but I didn’t have many friends. I didn’t think I was better than other people because I didn’t like myself that much either. I felt that I didn’t belong, like an alien that belonged to another planet.
I went home after school right away by myself. During the summer breaks, I stayed at home by myself during the day because my parents were working. I watched anime all-day when I was home alone and did my homework when my parents were home. I had a lot of free time, so I achieved A’s in everything except gym. Anime was a way for me to pass the time and it distracted me so I didn’t have to think about real life. I read a lot of manga too.
I learned about the world, places, people, and relationships through anime. My life was uninteresting and uneventful so I relied on anime to be my guide. At the same time, I was able to differentiate between anime and reality. All too well. I felt indifferent towards reality. Anime worlds weren’t that great either because of all the challenges the characters had to face. Still, the impossible happened in anime. A notebook that could kill people? Anime was so interesting!
This is my favourite song, and it represents how I felt when I was younger. Strangely, the song calms me and I don’t feel sadness over loneliness anymore. I’ve learned to embrace it.
My current life is so different from my lonely childhood. When I was young I didn’t have a blog, no outlet to express my thoughts and feelings. I just had anime. It was like a friend. I still watch anime because it passes the time. With countless titles to watch and shows coming out every season, it’s endless fun. It’s still interesting.
Now that I am more involved with activities in my life, I can spend my time blogging about anime, cosplaying as anime characters, drawing anime fan art, attending conventions and more. Being active with anime has made me part of this online community of anime bloggers. You are all so nice to me. Thank you for that. When I was young, anime was the friend that killed boredom. Now, anime has provided me with fun activities and many friendships.
As a kid, real life didn’t make me feel a lot of emotions. I was neutral most of the time. Anime made me cry countless times, and One Piece was able to make me laugh many times. Watching anime made me feel human.