I’m 23, just graduated from university with two degrees and feel this way for everything I do. Blogging, cosplaying, photography, drawing, school, work… I can’t even remember when I did not have such feelings of just being ordinary. Shouta Kisa from Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi is 30 and feels this way. Is it bad that I’ve felt this at a much younger age? Have I ever felt gung-ho about anything?
Truth be told, my Why Do I Blog? and Why Do I Cosplay? posts were written to help myself decide if I should continue to blog and cosplay. Like Kisa, I don’t feel depressed about this. I’m just being realistic.
RE: My What’s Your Ultimate Talent? (Danganronpa Inspired Post!) Click HERE to read it. I now have an answer to my own question I wrote at the end of that post. I used to be unsure, but now I think I would rather be the best at one talent instead being kind of good at multiple talents.
OK, this may all sound pessimistic as heck but since I’ve wrestled with these thoughts for a long time, here’s what helped me:
I think about my favourite singers and bands. Some are very popular and famous, while others are lesser known. Don’t I like them all the same? Isn’t it just personal preference? I don’t see anyone giving up, either.
I am not the best at anything I do, and it’s not something I’m striving for, either. I just want to continue to do my hobbies because it brings me some joy. That’s all.
When we keep our expectations of this world and of ourselves low, there will be less disappointment and heartache later on.
I thought I would write about the good things that have happened to me since quarantine. I’ve been at home since around March 16. I encourage you all to do the same!! Feel free to write in the comments about the positive things that have happened to you.
1. I’ve had more time to cosplay.
2. I’ve drawn stuff! I also quickly stopped drawing after that but I still drew three drawings and I’m happy about that.
3. A couple of blogger friends watched Yesterday wo Utatte after I wrote my Episode 1 Impressions post. Thank you! It always makes me happy when people watch the shows I recommend.
4. I’ve started working out regularly at home. I haven’t exercised like this since grade 11 high school… That was 7 years ago…
5. I’ve been video calling and voice chatting with my friends. We’ve played games, exercised, and watched shows online together. Before I mainly ate at restaurants with my friends so these are kind of new activities.
I’ve also mailed out a birthday letter and a ‘I’m thinking about you’ card to my friends. While I could have just written my messages online, I think there is something special about having a physical copy.
7. I’ve ordered a kalimba. I want to learn how to play Wu Ji, a song from The Untamed. A couple of my friends have ordered it with me. We’re going to learn how to play this song together.
I’m sure there are more good things that have happened to me this past month. Maybe I am not as pessimistic as I think I am. :p